But those intangibles? Something that cannot be measured in economics, or put into statistics or objectives to be met.
I knew that in the end, we are all just here floating around, trying to figure something out and then we're gone. Therefore, what does it matter what we do with our life? Who cares if there is a God or not? What's the point? Especially in our society where we rush to get to work, hate our jobs, rush home to do chores and errands and have weekends full of crap to do. In a world where I can justify hating my job because others do and also justify leaving my job because I know I shouldn't live like that and don't want to... because... I'll be gone soon...
Digressing, my point is that I always had trouble believing in both God and Love. It just seemed like that job. A dogma. Going to church and praying is like falling in love and getting married. Do you go along with society because that's what you do? Or do you question why we do these things. Does it matter in the end anyway???
Over the years and through self-exploration, God has become closer to me and I finally feel like he's a friend. I knew there was a point in praying and just like training for a race, the dogma of doing it has become real. We make agreements, he takes care of me as long as I take care of myself and we get along. I finally understand the phrase, "Everything through prayer." I use my time alone to have those conversations and being able to be entirely open with a true friend has become very special to me. I hope to continue to develop my relationship with God and look forward to getting closer. Some of the traditional dogma still doesn't appeal to me but I am open to exploration regardless.
The idea of Love has haunted me. Unconditional love from family makes total sense to me. But, in a romantic relationship, I questioned it the same as I questioned God. I've never been the first to say "I love you." because, as much as I enjoyed being with someone, I never felt compelled to declare my love. It seemed absurd to me. I felt that they were just obsessed, they wanted something from me or they were trying to manipulate me. Or just crazy.
However, there are people that believe in Love but don't believe in other intangibles. So, that told me that Love is an emotion that logic cannot get around. Where logic can tell you there is no man up in the sky maneuvering our lives, it's hard to argue an emotion that pulls you towards someone else, gives you butterflies and causes you to miss someone when they're gone. It's a different kind of intangible. In some scientific circles, it can be measured as well. I'm sure there is an equation that measures heart rate, body temperature and other senses to determine the amount of love someone is experiencing.
I now understand why someone would feel compelled to proclaim their love. The emotion is so strong, they cannot resist the urge to share the feeling with the other person. Which makes obvious sense but I now have a deeper meaning of what that means. Which is also why the follow-up question, days and weeks later is always a variation of, "Do you love me". Because the idea is to share that emotion with the other person. Otherwise, there is no point of being in love, if it cannot be shared. That person encompasses and completes you. So, it needs to be mutual in order to be considered legitimate love. I finally get it.
Humanity, well, we have a lot of work to do. Knowing that we are only going to die and in the end and nothing matters, I have such a hard time accepting the fact that there are entire societies living in utter poverty and suffering while the rest of the developed world keeps going at rates impossible to keep up with. So we have a polio vaccine. Too bad parts of the Middle East and Africa are still suffering from it. But, it's alright since we're creating more health issues to solve in the US by producing food products with less actual food in them and creating more and more sugar addicts. (I have a product that fights this- from my chiropractor)
However, just like the partnerships of oneself with God and love with another person, Humanity cannot solve it's own problems. You cannot allow it to go on without your help. "Be the change you wish to see in the world." said Gandhi. He refused to sit back and watch society destroy itself. If you disagree with the way we are evolving, do something about it. I recycle the water I boil potatoes in. I know how much water California doesn't have and the Colorado River is not replenishing. If you want to leave more for the following generations, it starts with simple acts of saving food. Don't buy more than you're going to eat and eat what you buy. If you take home your leftovers, which you should, eat it. And bring your own containers! Styrofoam should be eliminated like polio.
If we work together on these little things, we will get somewhere. If everyone threw a piece of garbage out of the window every day, can you imagine how much garbage we'd have everywhere?? So, the positive actions work the same way. If everyone conserved their food, can you imagine how much food, energy it takes to make the food, money it takes to pay the laborers, and water it takes to feed/water the food we could save!!???
I believe, just as Gene Roddenberry did, (a surrealist version of Spock it sitting next to me at the cafe I'm at), that we can develop into a better society. One that allows us to believe in whatever God we want, love whomever we fall in love with and trust in one another to bring Humanity to that point.
Check it out, UNICORNS: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/leahland/i-believe-in-unicorns
Bret Barrett: bretbarrett.com - Spock, Dali and Warhol